Roger Bennett's Midnight Meditations

Time Flies

I can't believe we are nearing the halfway mark of August already - it seems like it just got here. I am positive that the older I get, the faster time goes by. I remember being told that very thing as a younger person, and just dismissing it as something "old people" said, but, alas, I must be one of the "old people" now, because I find myself saying it to my own kids! Life does have a way of coming full circle.

I just got back from a whirlwind trip to AR and TX, visiting with my parents and father-in-law, and taking my parents to TX to visit with Mom's brothers and sister-in-law. It was a good trip, and I was happy to be able to go. I even got to attend my first-ever Watermelon Fest in Cave City, AR. (And if you've never had a Cave City melon, you have missed out!) I was to have begun an international courier trip today, but it sadly got cancelled due to patient condition, so I find I have a few extra days at home, which I am NOT complaining about! I have loads of paperwork to catch up on here.

Things are coming along nicely with the new product, and I should have things in place for NQC. I will probably be at the Legacy Five Labor Day Celebration, as well, but I haven't firmed those plans yet.

I'd like to ask special prayers from all of you for a dear family. Yesterday, we received the shocking news that Dana Willis, daughter of George and Clara Younce, was found dead in her home. Her husband Robbie was away with a bus tour in Mackinac Island, and early indications are that she may have suffered a massive heart attack. Dana was my age, and had not been ill. The Younce family is one of the closest families I have ever had the privilege to be around, and I know they are just devastated. I have no other details to share, but you may find further info on the Singing News website. Just please keep this family in your prayers. 

We have no guarantees in life, while we are here on Earth. We do, however, have the blessed assurance that God keeps us firmly

In His Grip,

Debbie 

Coming Along

I hope everyone is having a great summer. I know mine has been very busy, and full of lots of experiences. I have been traveling, working on my house, and trying to get a couple of new products ready for manufacturing. Just today, I got the new DVD proof to edit, and I am excited about this new piece. It's a very relaxing video of God's wonderful scenery in England, Wales, Scotland, Ireland, and Northern Ireland, with the beautiful piano playing of Roger, of course, and some inspiring KJV scripture imposed over the scenery. It is, I hope, the first in a series called "My Father's World". This first one is subtitled "A Celtic Experience". It is exciting to see something that Roger and I had talked about doing so many years ago, finally becoming reality. I hope to have it ready by Labor Day Weekend, and then for NQC.

Speaking of NQC, I will have a booth there again this year. I will be located in booth #707, same as last year, directly behind Legacy Five. Please come by and see me if you are there! I will, however, only be present myself from Thursday to Saturday, because I am accompanying my Dad to his final WWII reunion in Nebraska on Monday through Wednesday of that week. I had to make a decision where to be, and I just couldn't miss this reunion, being the last. It's sad, because we have lost so many over the years, that there is only a small handful left to attend this one. If you think about it, please pray that those who desire to attend are able to get there. It will be a bittersweet time, I am sure.

Plans are coming along for Jordan's and Jessica's wedding. They have set the date for June 26, 2010, and are planning a small function. They have been working hard on the details while Jessica was home for the summer. She has since left to attend stunt school in Seattle for 3 weeks, and then she is off to Chicago to complete her final year of school. The honeymoon has been booked, and tentative plans are that they will relocate to the west coast to pursue their respective careers. Of course, Mom doesn't like that part too well, but I do realize that we raise them to live their own lives. I guess I will just have to take a few more courier trips to the L.A. area! I hope they have a guest room.....

I have been so busy that I have been a little behind in taking courier trips, but I have an international trip coming up the middle of August. And, speaking of the work I do, and what it's about, please do keep the Seamans family, especially Frank, Jr., in your urgent prayers. It is my understanding that Frank Jr's own stem cells were harvested in the past few days. He will be receiving his own cells back for his transplant. They will be treated before being reintroduced, and I am unsure of the date for that. Just keep him in your prayers, as I know there are many treatments, and sick days, that he will be going through. One good thing I do know about getting your own cells (an autologous transplant) is that the chance of the nasty Graft-vs.-Host disease is greatly reduced, and that is a great thing.

Well, I am off to work on a new songbook, featuring the piano arrangements of the CD "Whispers in the Night". Wish me luck! Regardless, I know I am always

In His Grip!

Debbie

Away to Relax

I am off tomorrow for a week with a special family of friends to relax and fellowship. I am really looking forward to it. They are dear friends I met through Roger's illness, and have become like family to me. I have a lot to process, with most of it being how wonderful the encouragement I have received about my "situation" has been. I am truly overwhelmed by all of the support and words of love I have been sent. I am a VERY blessed woman! (And, as I said before, this web site will remain as is, until the Lord tells me otherwise!)

This week, I was riding with a friend past a home where an older woman was in the back yard hanging her laundry. I was told that her husband had passed away last week, and a rush of memories flooded over me, so much so, that I was in tears - not for myself, but for her. You see, I remembered so vividly the first load of laundry I washed after Roger had passed away - how intensely sad it was, knowing that I wouldn't be doing laundry for him any more.......then remembering the first time I went to the grocery store - I barely made it to the car before I dissolved into tears, remembering the special things I would buy for him, trying to get him to eat, etc.  It really made me aware that there are so many people in this world who go through these same things on a daily basis. We just need to put our "awareness caps" on, and be sensitive to the little things. A  hug here, a helping hand there, and the blessings to both you and the person you help will be immeasurable!

A special note of thanks to all of the veterans who have served, and are still serving our country. We are ever-mindful of the fact that the sacrifices of selfless men and women over the course of our country's existence have paved the way for the countless freedoms we experience today. So on this Fourth of July, Independence Day, we all say a huge THANK YOU.

I will update you on happenings in the Bennett household when I return. God bless America, God bless you all, and may you be held safely

In His Grip!

Debbie

An Announcement

Well, life just keeps rolling along. Last week, I became the mother of an engaged son! Although I have another year to wait, it would appear that I will have a new daughter-in-law around or about next July. I am very excited and happy for them both. Jordan and Jessica have been dating for over 5 1/2 years; they truly are "high school sweethearts". I couldn't have picked a sweeter girl for him. (Some of you may remember seeing her on stage at one of the L5 Celebrations in Nashville.) It was a bittersweet time for me, since it made me miss Roger, wishing he were here to see the happy day. I am sure he was looking down with pride and love, though. It was pretty cool how we made him a very big part of it all.........let's just say the ring plays into it.....

I spent the weekend in AR, getting to be with family, and celebrating Father's Day with my Dad and Doug. They are both doing well, trying to stay cool, as is the rest of the South (and other parts of the country) right now! My mom had a 2-day stay in the hospital last week with her blood pressure going sky-high, but she seems to be better now. She has had an ongoing problem with that for years, and it gets pretty serious at times. I was glad to be able to be there to help out a little bit. We had a house full of people on Saturday, and there was a lot of kitchen duty required!

On another note, I would like to thank you for your encouraging comments about my previous post. It WAS a very hard thing to write. I still struggle daily with it all. Roger expressed to me many, many times how he would like for me to find someone when the time was right. I, of course, told him I'd never consider it, but I learned a long time ago that what I want doesn't necessarily coincide with what GOD wants. I also knew that there would be those who don't agree with this new phase of my life, and I understand that, too. However, as was suggested to me via an email, I do NOT plan to shut down this site yet. I have had a LOT of doors close behind me, as I journey through these unchartered waters of my "new" life and as painful as they are to accept, I have been able to, for the most part, without too much complaint. But, I don't feel this door closing yet. I still feel like God has some use for me in this area. I don't feel like I am dishonoring Roger's memory, but rather, his memory gives me the fortitude to continue sharing what God lays on my heart, as we always did together. Given a choice, of course, my life would still be sailing along with Roger, but I wasn't given that choice. I know that Roger will be a huge part of my life, for the rest of my life...no question about that. I think that is what gives me the strength to move forward with my life. Knowing what I had once makes it less frightening to explore what may lie ahead, if that makes any sense...  At any rate, I understand if some readers may be uncomfortable with my moving on, and since I don't plan to use this forum as solely an update on my status (never have, never will), I will keep this site active, sharing what God lays on my heart, and hopefully being an encouragement to others. Feel free to discontinue your readership, if you need to. We all do what we have to do.

There are no guarantees in life while we remain on this Earth. Thank God, though, that we have a loving, caring Savior Who keeps us, through all of life's ups and downs, safely

In His Grip!

Debbie (hope I didn't ramble)

Another Year Older....

Thank you to all of you who have sent me birthday greetings, via post, email, and Facebook (which I am new to). I had a very nice day with Chelsea and Jordan the day before, and on Saturday, my actual birthday, the weather was wonderful, and I spent some time outside, doing things that needed to be done. I enjoyed it thoroughly.

Each year brings new changes, doesn't it? It's easy to look backward and see them. It's also a lot easier to deal with them by looking backward. Some changes are just hard to go through, and some come on you like a surprise. I suppose the biggest change in my life lately has been having a new person in my life. It's not a change I expected, and I have honestly had to deal with a multitude of aspects that this particular change has brought about. I find myself to be a people pleaser, and it's very hard making everyone happy at the same time.......so I have decided that I am just going to let God handle this one. After all, He has been the orchestrator of my entire life, and I just can't see Him letting me down on this one!

Please pray for my family, as new adjustments are made. I will keep you posted on how things are going! Meanwhile, rest assured that it's all being held firmly

In His Grip!

Debbie

A LONG Overdue Post!

No, I haven't fallen off the face of the earth, although there have been a few moments when it seemed possible! I have been home one week today, and have been playing catch-up, and recovering from jet lag, and a myriad of other things.

The trip to the UK ended up great, although the project I went over to do almost got scrapped. The original plans just didn't work out, but thankfully, my friends there helped me come up with an alternative, and I believe I will have a new project in time for NQC this year. I am very grateful! OK, so here is what the new project is....

Many years ago, I believe in the early 2000's, while Roger was in the hospital in Houston, we were watching their in-house relaxation channel. It was simply nature shots set to soothing music. At that time, we discussed how we would like to do one or more of those, using the piano music of Roger. Of course, life got in the way, and we were unable to get that going, while he was still here with us. I have had it on my mind since he went to Heaven, and while I know there have been others done since we had the idea, this is something I wanted to complete. Rog and I had discussed several possibilities for filming locales, and in the interest of having help, etc., I decided to do the first one in the UK. What you will see is a series (hopefully) of DVDs called "My Father's World". The first DVD will be "A Celtic Experience", with very mellow, soothing music played to scenery from England, Cornwall, France, Wales, Scotland, Ireland, and N. Ireland (did I leave anything out?). Each song (I believe there are 15 in total) will have specially selected scripture superimposed, as well. There is no talking to disrupt the flow, just the beautiful piano music played by Roger. I am very excited to see how this is accepted. I believe it will be a tool that will reach farther than just the Southern Gospel fan base he had. If all goes well, it should be available in mid to late August. I will certainly keep you posted! (I also have ideas for one or two more......)

Well, I have to run for now. I am headed out today on another life-saving mission, and am very happy to be back in that saddle! I always know, that no matter where I am on this earth, I am always held soundly

In His Grip!

Debbie

Mail

I had an interesting (?) week via the United States Postal Service last week. Oh, not the Postal Service's "fault", they were just the messenger. I had a couple of pieces of mail delivered to Roger. Now, that in itself is not that unusual. I still get credit card offers, etc. for him occasionally. These two, however, seemed a bit quirky. First, his official AARP card came in. I guess AARP keeps up with everyone's age, regardless of whether they actually reach that age or not. You would think that if they had information that accurate, something could be done to monitor a person's living status, as well. But the one that got my rather warped sense of humor going was from a book club that Roger used to belong to. The envelope was addressed to him, and in bold letters emblazoned across the front it said, "Roger Bennett, what can we do to get you to come back?" After a moment of shock, I had to smile, thinking of what Roger would say if he could have seen that. I came very close to writing them back, saying, "I don't know, but if you find out, would you please let me know???" Ah, just those random things that happen to let you know that life does indeed go on.........

I had a moment this morning, missing Roger very much. Those crop up when I least expect them. I suspect that this one has to do with an upcoming trip and project that I am undertaking. I leave Monday for 3 weeks, headed once again to N. Ireland and England to do a project that Roger and I had discussed, but never got around to making happen. I will be filming a new DVD in the Cornwall region of England. This one will be different from the others, in that it will strictly be Roger's music set to scenery, with scripture imposed over the scenery. There will be no talking to interrupt the flow.....it is just for relaxation. The first project will be very mellow, and if it goes well, I plan to follow it up with a more up-tempo project. So, please pray for me as I undertake this endeavor. I especially covet your prayers for my stamina as I travel (alone this time). I have been battling a really bad back since the end of February, and I thought it was getting better until last Wednesday, when I re-injured it (while bending to pick up an envelope, filling orders - I wish I had a better story!). Long story short, after a shot of cortizone in the back, and an entire weekend of bed rest, I can move again, but I am VERY cautious, and in some pain still. Fortunately, I had enough air miles built up from the volunteer work to upgrade my flight to 1st class, so the trip over won't be as taxing. The domestic portion is on a small plane, though, so not much can be done about the comfort level there. However, I know that God, Who has been with me in all of the planning stages, won't abandon me at the last hour, and so I feel confident that all will be well. I have quite a bit of time in N. Ireland with my dear friends to relax with a cup of tea, and I am REALLY looking forward to my visit there! I will be working May 3-10, and the remainder of the time is pretty much leisure.

Besides this project, I have a couple more in the works, so stay tuned as those develop. I must say how much I appreciate all of the support and love all of you, my dear friends, give me and my family. I am fully aware that, as time goes by, the demand for the limited amount of new product that I can produce about Roger will wane. However, I am constantly overwhelmed by the requests that keep coming, and the wonderful cards, letters, and emails that tell of the impact he made in his too-short life here. We are all blessed to have had him as part of our lives.

We miss him, but he will always be with us. He taught us the value of being

In His Grip!

Debbie

Safe After the Storms

Thank you for all of your concern and prayers for our family and all of those around us. It was a pretty rough day on Friday, but we are thanking God for His mercies, and praying for those who were not so fortunate.

Jordan had come to my house Friday morning to pick up some things, and something (rather, SOMEONE) prompted me to tell him to go on home, knowing that the storms were quickly moving in. He lives in Murfreesboro, the town that was the hardest hit by the tornadoes. Anyway, I was on the phone with him as he was driving, updating him on the path of the tornado, praying for him, and he was literally about 4 minutes ahead of the tornado that crossed the interstate right where he was driving. As he got to his house, he and 2 of his friends could see the funnel cloud off in the distance. They have a basement, and they were safely "stowed", and their neighborhood did not suffer any damage, other than a few limbs blown down. Again, I am still thanking God for His protection. The town is a mess in areas, and there were some tragedies, so keep these folks in your prayers.

I hope you all had a blessed Easter. I managed to get to the 7 a.m. (!!) service, and it was awesome! It was a lovely day all around, made even more special by knowing that, no matter the circumstances, we are held as precious treasures,

In His Grip!

Debbie

Easter Weekend

Yes, I know that, once again, it has been a while since I posted. I had a good reason. This is the first year in quite a few (4 or 5 maybe?) that I am actually filing my income taxes without an extension! I have to tell you, it feels pretty good. I have a final appointment tomorrow afternoon to wrap things up. WHEW! This was one of those things that Roger did himself, with me running in the background to help him pull things together. I have NOT enjoyed doing it myself, particularly the past 2 years when I was still trying to figure out what might have been in his head, or who knows where else! Not that I enjoyed it this year either, but it is getting easier. It's just another one of those things that make me realize that being a part of a team is infinitely more fun than going it alone.

But, that's not what this weekend is about anyway (although that shadow will most likely hang over many people). Tomorrow is Good Friday, a day when we remember the shame and suffering that was put upon our Lord. I simply can not comprehend the agony He suffered out of love for mankind. How can I NOT love such a Savior?  He was thinking of ME (substitute your name here) even in His most agonizing moment. He had the ability to shout out to legions of awaiting angels to take Him from that cruel fate; yet, He chose to endure a horrific death - with literally the weight of the world on His shoulders - so that you and I might live.

How will I now live my life, so that I might not bring shame to the Name of Jesus Christ? How will you choose to live your life, knowing that multitudes of people are watching to see if you "walk the talk"?

What was the darkest day in the life of the believers who followed Jesus that bleak Good Friday, was replaced with the glorious discovery on Sunday morning that He had conquered death and the grave. Jesus is alive! He is as alive today as He was that Easter Sunday morning over 2000 years ago. Celebrate! Greet each other with a renewed hope that (to borrow a line from a song written by a wonderful man) "When the world says it's over.....the Master says 'No, I've just begun'".

On this blessed Easter weekend, we celebrate as no other religion in the world ever can. HE IS RISEN INDEED! and He holds us eternally

In His Grip!

Debbie

More Memories

March 17.....it will never be just "St. Patrick's Day" again. This year, it marks 2 years since we lost our beloved Roger. Okay, he's not lost, we KNOW where he is, and that makes it much more bearable.

Those memories are pressing in like ocean waves right now. Some good, but mostly, as anniversaries approach, I tend to relive the end days, and those are definitely not so good. I remember writing last year, as the one-year anniversary approached, that I was afraid of losing my memories. I can truly say that they are still fresh, and vivid, both the good and the bad. I am not complaining, though, because any memory is a precious one. I am so thankful that God allows us to have those thoughts to comfort us in our grief.

I decided this year, not to sit around the house brooding, but rather to do something to honor the life of one I loved so much. So, I asked for a courier trip, and I am going to be delivering a gift of life on March 17. I thought Roger would like to know that I am still inspired by the way he lived his life. I felt a little bit guilty not being home with Chelsea and Jordan on the actual day, but they are fine with it. We met yesterday (Sunday) for a meal and some remembrance together. We did that last year, too, and as long as we can keep that up, it will be a nice tradition. Chelsea and I shopped for flowers, I put them together in an arrangement, and she will take them to put on his grave tomorrow. As I was putting them together, though, I got kind of tickled, wondering if Roger would appreciate the fact that I hand-select and arrange his flowers, or if he would rather have them professionallly done so they look nice! (Just kidding, I know he would love them because we made them for him, even though flower arranging is not one of my most-honed skills!)

In general, we are all doing well, and moving forward with our lives. Most days, we make it through without incident......It's just these more poignant days that cause us to wonder how the grief can still be so sharp; how the emptiness can still be so vast; how the longing can still be so intense. Then, the gentle hand of God will lovingly stroke us, and remind us that, after all, Roger got what he always longed for; what he sang and ministered about; what we wants for all of us:  to be forever with the One Who holds us

In His Grip!

Debbie